So here’s the thing about being a breastfeeding mother:

I’ll never know the struggles that formula moms face. I’ll never have to carry around purified water, or have formula with me at all times, or worry about the crazy cost of formula for my child, or what’s in the formula

On the flip side though:

Those mothers will never understand the constant back pain that comes with breastfeeding long term, the sore nipples, cracked and bleeding nipples, the mastitis, the clogged ducks, the hours and calories it takes to pump so that you can actually leave your baby for any period of time

Those moms will never be bitten, and pulled, and scratched on one of their bodies most sensitive parts

Those moms will never be shamed for feeding their child in public; because an over sexualized part of them isn’t being used to do so

I’m lucky, I won’t say that I’m not

I’m an over producer and so I have a ton of milk for my children and to spare

So what do I do with the extra milk? Buy another freezer? No, we don’t have extra money for that

I donate it. I donate a product that I, myself, worked hard to create with my body.

All I’ve ever asked in return is that those moms replace the milk bags that I give them

The couple of times that I’ve actually donated have left me with a very sour taste in my mouth about it though

The moms seemed completely ungrateful and in some sense put out by the need to restock my bags

I just don’t get it. They are getting free milk! If I charged for my milk, there are places that pay $1 per ounce! Each time I donate it’s 300 or more ounces! That’s a lot of money to use, hell that could pay for an extra freezer

I’m saving these moms money. They don’t have to buy formula, and they are getting something full of antibodies and defenses that formula just doesn’t have

I’m super frustrated by all of this. I wish I could donate to a hospital or a nicu directly. Somewhere that babies and moms need it and would actually be grateful

I don’t want to have to throw any of my milk out. It’s called liquid gold for a reason. It’s good for soooo many things

My son recently was complaining of his ear hurting (I thought uh oh, maybe our first ear infection) so I put some drops of breast milk in it, it stopped hurting. Same thing we’ve done with pink eye, and when anyone in our family is sick. It’s amazing stuff, and I’m thankful and grateful to have an abundance to share

To those mommas out there who rely on donated milk for their babies; I feel for you. I know you love your kiddos and you’re trying to make sure they are healthy and happy. This isn’t aimed at you. You appreciate what we go through, you care

This is aimed at the mothers who have chose not to breastfeed (literally had a mom I was donating milk to, say that when she pumped she felt violated and so she stopped and has relied on donor milk ever since!!! Like what?!) and then get free milk from other mothers. The mothers who want to save money on formula and instead get free milk

Be grateful y’all. Be appreciative. Give the mom some dang breast milk bags. Think about what you would have spent on formula and maybe give her $20 on top of the bags.

If the shoe was on the other foot, and I was receiving donor milk, you better believe I would be ridiculously grateful and bless that mother in any way that I could

I may have resting bitch face, but I also seem to be somewhat approachable when it comes to strangers, as well as I’m fairly friendly

That being said; DON’T. TOUCH. MY. KIDS.

When did the greater stranger population decide that it was socially acceptable to touch another persons child without asking?

Maybe you don’t mean any harm, maybe you’re also a mother, or grandmother, or uncle. I don’t care!

All you need to do is simply ask! Most of the time the answer will be no for the baby, and the toddler can decide if he feels comfortable with that on his own. He is his own person and if he doesn’t like your vibes, you scare him, or he’s embarrassed or uncomfortable he has the right to say “no” I don’t want to be touched in any sort of way.

Now people get sooooooo offended by this. I don’t know you. I don’t know where your hands have been. I don’t know what you’ve been touching. Lay off of my kids! I’d much rather someone try and touch me than my children, but the funny thing is: no one would.

As an adult female if you touch me you know damn well I’m going to say something, as well as you could get in a whole lot of trouble for that.

The same curtesy should be given to the children of the world, and their parents.

Now aside from proper etiquette and social “rules” there is also the issue of germs.

Especially going into the “sick” season of the yeast, do not touch other people’s children!

Perhaps you’re wondering why I’ve decided to touch on this topic today?

Well, we were at the grocery store; both children and myself, and the woman behind us was talking to Bryce as a lot of people do. Well she said “you’re so handsome” and he got very shy. He clung to my leg and buried his face in my thigh.

If you know my son then you know this is very strange behavior for him. He LOVES people.

Apparently he didn’t like her though, and man oh man did she try everything to get his love. She asked for a hug, or a high five, and then a KISS! He said no to every single advance. Which I’m so proud of. I would also NEVER have let her kiss him even if he had said yes. Ew!

When we left and we’re walking to the car, I asked him “did that lady scare you”, he said “yes”. I told him what a great job he did and that he always has the right to say “no” to someone’s advances of physical affection.

Funny though, he was able to understand that she was a stranger and that her touch was unwanted. He then followed it up with “but I can’t say no to you or daddy”. I clarified that it was in regards to when we tell him to do something, etc. He can tell us no to affection too. That’s totally fine with me.

Long story short. Don’t touch kids, babies, people; that you don’t know. Talk with them. Make silly faces at them. Tell them out adorable they are. Just don’t take it any further.

Recently Bryce (my 3 year old) has been mimicking EVERYTHING that I say.

From swear words (dammit) to sexual inudendos (why don’t you lick this vagina *aimed at Matt while Bryce was on his way upstairs. Man this kid has impeccable hearing) as well as empty threats to Matt when he’s annoying me (I’m going to cut you)

I swear it’s not a violent household whatsoever. It’s all in good fun. Matt will say shit to annoy me, then I say some sort of version of “I’m going to get you”, he tells me that will never happen

Rinse and repeat; it’s a bunch of laughs. Anyone who’s ever seen us verbally spar one another will tell you it’s pretty comical

What’s not so great is these adult things being mimicked by our 3 year old

Sometimes he even scolds me!

The other day after I said I was going to cut Matt; Bryce says from the other room “it’s not nice to cut people”

Like what?!?! How did you hear me mutter that, and thank goodness I’ve taught you well enough not to do that

Ugh sometimes the things he relays back can make me feel like the worst mom in the world

When he is playing and he says stuff about going to timeout, or being a “bad boy”, or getting a spanking. It literally breaks my heart

Recently I’ve decided to take a very different approach to parenting him. A softer approach. When he meets me with stubbornness and trials, I come back with love and patience

God damn it is hard though! Not loosing my shit on him is a full time fucking job

But my hard work is paying off. I’m seeing a huge change in his reactions and attitude towards things when I approach things from a kinder heart

So from one “bad mom” to another: I feel you. I’m here with you. I totally get it. Praise koffee and your choice of self care (mine recently has actually been the gym, what am I a masochist?!)

So we’re just going to jump on in. If you’ve read the “about me” section then you know what to expect, and if not then you’re in for some shock, awe, and humor.

I used to have great boobs.

Anyone who had seen them pre babies, or even fully clothed would tell you that; but I took them for granted. I wish a lot more people had gotten to witness them at their prime.

Since having my kiddos and choosing the crazy ride of breastfeeding, my boobs have changed greatly. I now have what I like to call my “glad bags full of soup”. Picture that if you will for a moment.

They grew so much when I was pregnant both times, and they did NOT start out small. After breastfeeding my first child, he had literally sucked the life out of me, and now again with my second, I fear at the end, they will be even worse.

They are big, don’t get me wrong, and heavy, oh my god my back fucking hurts; but its all just skin, and milk. When I am not breastfeeding they are just empty sad glad bags with no soup.

Thank god Matt isn’t a boob guy, he is all about the butt. I can do squats for the rest of my life and have a great butt, I can get a great butt without surgery, but boobs, eh not so much.

These bad boys are going to need some major reconfiguration, once I’m done breastfeeding my last child. No implants for me, as putting something foreign inside of me terrifies me (but you do you boo boo. I can appreciate wanting to make a change and having implants, they just aren’t for me). Certainly a reduction, and a lift are in order though.

I’d love to try and return them as closely as possible to their former glory.

Going from a DD to now a G/H; yup they really get that big, I’m not sure why, I mean at this point it’s just stupid. No one needs this much boob. At some point they should stop growing. They each weigh 15 lbs, yes we really weighed them. Strap on 30lbs and wear that around for a day, then you’ll understand why my back hurts, and I have marks on my shoulders where my bra straps dig into me.

So appreciate your small boobs, for those of you that have them, I am envious of you; and to our pre-baby boobs, let’s give them a moment of silence. Whether you used them well and they’ve come and gone, or you still have them *cough cough bitch*, they served us well at some point in our lives. Now for us to only fondly remember the days when we got our first training bras, and were actually able to shop in the PiNk part of Victoria’s Secret.